Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Good Gifts- By Brita



In his graciousness to us God has used many things to prepare us for the ministry He has called us to.  One of the most intense and best gifts he gave me (Brita) along the way was a car wreck in 2008.  At the time, we were preparing to go to serve at Rehoboth Children's Home in the Philippines for six months.  Our objective was for Josh to be the project manager on the construction of a perimeter wall so that a baby home, medical clinic and several other buildings could be built.  We were so excited to go but I had a major problem.  Fear.  I was fearful about so many things but mainly I was afraid for our children.  I was afraid of illness, injury, kidnapping and death.  At its root it was really simply a lack of trust.  I did not trust that God was good.  I believed that if we stayed at our home and lived our normal life we were "safe".  Instead of trusting that God would do what was best for all of us, that each thing he gives us is for our good, I was trying to hold onto my definition of what was good for us.  The truth is that I am terrible at recognizing what is good for me and for my family. 

 So on a beautiful June evening I followed Josh home as he rode his motorcycle and I drove our van.  I remember seeing half a dozen deer in a field.  It was the golden hour.  The sun was just setting and we had had a wonderful evening with family.  We were only a mile from our house.  Josh was enjoying the acceleration of his bike and I was trying to keep up.  Then it happened in the blink of an eye.  There is no way I could have seen the car.  The bushes blocked the view of the road coming from the right.  Just as our van came to the intersection the man in the Isuzu Trooper turned left without pausing, without looking.  I had never liked that intersection and I remember being thankful that Josh breezed through it fine.  I saw a flash of silver and I screamed.  Then a loud bang as we hit first on my right front bumper and then banged together on our right sides.  Our van shot off to the left across the road.  I  opened my eyes saw the already deflated airbag and then saw the oncoming ditch.  I pumped the brake but there was no response.  We sailed down the ditch and through a hedge I had always admired.  I remember saying aloud "Sorry bushes!"  The kids were crying as we finally eased to a stop out in the middle of the yard on the corner.  With adrenaline pumping I unbuckled and jumped out.  I reached Paul (who was 1) first, unbuckled him and whisked him into my arms.  He had bit his tongue and was not too pleased.  Next I went around to the other side and got Clara (3) and our nephew Caleb (4).  They were crying but seemed fine.  I had no cell phone.  I didn't know what to do with so many little ones.  I couldn't hold them all but they were all crying.  I lay a blanket on the dry stubble in the yard and we all sat down on it and cried as I thanked Jesus that we were not seriously hurt.  The people in the house came out with another blanket for us.  Soon I heard sirens and the woman offered her cell phone to me so I could call Josh.  I called our home phone with no response.  He didn't have a cell phone either.  Then I called my parents house to let my sister know we had been in a wreck and that Caleb would probably not want to spend the night after all.  It's funny now to think that's how I worded it to them.  

Meanwhile Josh, who had not heard the crash, was waiting at home for us.  He heard sirens and started to get worried.  He went around the block once and didn't see us.  Then finally he back tracked to where we were.  At first he only saw the silver trooper on the road and was relieved.  Then he saw our van out in the yard and realized it was us.  I will never forget the look on his face as he ran to us.  What an awful thing it must have been to find your family next to your wrecked van and surrounded by sheriff cars, a firetruck, and ambulance.  Not long after Josh arrived my dad and brother in law came to help.  The kids and I were loaded into the ambulance for a luxurious ride to the ER.  By this time my neck and right knee were screaming with pain.  After several hours in the ER and x rays for all, we were released with bumps, bruises, and whiplash for me.  Over the next five months I was constantly in pain.  However,  my eyes were opened to the simple truth that God is sovereign!  We were only a mile from our house and we were in a nasty wreck.  It could have been so much worse!  Here's the thing that got me the most:  we are really not "safe" anywhere.  Not if our definition of safety is  the one that I had created and worshiped.  But with a sovereign God we were truly safe.  What God had planned for us was good because He gets to define good.  After all He is the ultimate good.  His plans are not to make me happy, healthy and wealthy.  Oh no they are way better than that!  His plans are to give me what I need to make me more like His Son.  Only then will I have the joy and delight that only He can give.  

I was able to go to the Philippines with a much deeper love and trust.  Not a trust that we would be safe but a trust that He would be good.  I have often lost sight of this truth but He is so patient with me and reminds me often.  

As we get closer to launching onto the field- only 9 (ish) weeks!! - I am finding myself slipping back into fear at times.  When I remember the gift of our accident, peace and gratitude washes over me once again.  God has us in the palm of His hand and He will continue to give us good gifts!  

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11


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